Tag Archives: VBAC

No, I did not need my traumatic birth for personal growth

Why we need to stop telling women this was the birth they ‘had to have’.   18 years ago, I became mother to a plump little person who emerged from the fiery depths of a traumatic birth, and initiated me into motherhood. The impact of that birth shook me to the core. It rippled out […]

“She Believed She Could” – why this saying has no place in birth.

We’e often seen this quote passed around natural birth groups online : “She believed she could….so she did.” And it’s always bothered us. Because while we wish it was true –  we wish that determination was enough – unfortunately in our birthing culture, it often isn’t. And because most women don’t know that – the […]

Why can’t I just accept my traumatic birth?

Many women ask themselves this. But what if you don’t need to accept it, to heal? Debby Gould and Melissa Bruijn are founders of Birthtalk.org, where, for 15 years, they have supported women in healing from a traumatic birth, and guided them towards empowering and positive subsequent births. They are also authors of new book, […]

The wrong questions to ask a woman after a traumatic birth.

Sometimes over the past 14 years of running Birthtalk.org we’ve heard well-intentioned people –  even some birth workers – ask the wrong questions to a woman who has just shared details about her traumatic birth. (And Melissa from Birthtalk.org had some of those questions asked of her, after her own traumatic birth.) Questions like : “Why didn’t you […]

Five steps you can take right now to begin to heal from your traumatic birth

After a traumatic birth, it can be so hard.  You have to deal with the needs of your newborn, and with any older children needing you. You might be floundering under the emotional and physical fallout from the birth. You might be finding that it is incredibly hard to get anyone at all to understand […]

Why breastfeeding can be so hard after a traumatic birth – and why it’s not your fault. [part 1]

  By the authors of How to Heal a Bad Birth: making sense, making peace and moving on, a gentle guide towards healing after a less-than-great birth. I felt very frustrated when the midwife was acting like I wasn’t trying to feed my baby. Of course I wanted to feed her! Of course I wanted to […]

How to write your birth story after a traumatic birth (& why it can be a healing step)

  Writing my birth story gave me my birth back. Somehow, knowing the order that things happened in, and what was going on beyond my own experience, and expressing fully what was going on for me, worked together to give me the feeling that, finally, it was ‘my’ birth. At last. Such a massive leap […]