Tag Archives: negative birth

No, I did not need my traumatic birth for personal growth

Why we need to stop telling women this was the birth they ‘had to have’.   18 years ago, I became mother to a plump little person who emerged from the fiery depths of a traumatic birth, and initiated me into motherhood. The impact of that birth shook me to the core. It rippled out […]

“She Believed She Could” – why this saying has no place in birth.

We’e often seen this quote passed around natural birth groups online : “She believed she could….so she did.” And it’s always bothered us. Because while we wish it was true –  we wish that determination was enough – unfortunately in our birthing culture, it often isn’t. And because most women don’t know that – the […]

Rachael’s story: finally healing after traumatic birth, severe tearing, vaginal prolapse plus 3 failed repair surgeries.

“My body is still different after having three kids but it’s no longer “injured” or “broken”. It’s strong, functional and most of all comfortable!”  When we first met Rachael, she was resigning herself to living with constant pain from her first child’s traumatic arrival, after three failed surgeries to repair the damage, and dismissive attitudes […]

How to deal with negative birth stories when you’re planning a positive birth

Should we shut down negative or traumatic stories about birth, especially when we are expecting? Or are we missing an opportunity to clarify our own needs in preparation for a positive birth? And do we risk silencing women whose voice desperately needs to be heard, in the process? Debby Gould and Melissa Bruijn are founders […]

Why breastfeeding can be so hard after a traumatic birth – and why it’s not your fault. [part 1]

  By the authors of How to Heal a Bad Birth: making sense, making peace and moving on, a gentle guide towards healing after a less-than-great birth. I felt very frustrated when the midwife was acting like I wasn’t trying to feed my baby. Of course I wanted to feed her! Of course I wanted to […]

Introducing ‘How to Heal a Bad Birth’ – our new book!

Finally! After 8 years of writing, researching, sharing our knowledge, gathering poignant stories from women and men, and learning about the publishing process…all alongside caring for our families’ needs…our book is DONE. ‘How to Heal a Bad Birth : making sense, making peace and moving on’ will be available worldwide JUNE 23!

Retrieving your birth records after a traumatic birth : how to get them, what to do with them, and why it can be a healing step

Many women who have had a traumatic birth retrieve their birth notes to aid in the healing process, and in preparation for a subsequent birth. Going over your notes (especially with a midwife who understands that birth matters) can be very powerful in helping you move to a new level of healing and knowledge. At […]