Category Understanding Birth Trauma

Birth Trauma: does nature give a damn?

Does nature care about a woman’s happiness post-birth? Has birth always been one of life’s most traumatic events? Is birth much easier now than it ever was? Join us in this updated article of ours, mythbusting our way through some important issues raised by a comment on our blog.   In one of our most […]

No, I did not need my traumatic birth for personal growth

Why we need to stop telling women this was the birth they ‘had to have’.   18 years ago, I became mother to a plump little person who emerged from the fiery depths of a traumatic birth, and initiated me into motherhood. The impact of that birth shook me to the core. It rippled out […]

“She Believed She Could” – why this saying has no place in birth.

We’e often seen this quote passed around natural birth groups online : “She believed she could….so she did.” And it’s always bothered us. Because while we wish it was true –  we wish that determination was enough – unfortunately in our birthing culture, it often isn’t. And because most women don’t know that – the […]

Do I need to avoid negative birth stories when I’m planning a positive birth?

Should we shut down negative or traumatic stories about birth? Or do we risk silencing women whose voice desperately needs to be heard? And are we missing an opportunity to clarify our own needs in preparation for a positive birth in the process?   Debby Gould and Melissa Bruijn are founders of Birthtalk.org, where, for […]

The wrong questions to ask a woman after a traumatic birth.

Sometimes over the past 14 years of running Birthtalk.org we’ve heard well-intentioned people –  even some birth workers – ask the wrong questions to a woman who has just shared details about her traumatic birth. (And Melissa from Birthtalk.org had some of those questions asked of her, after her own traumatic birth.) Questions like : “Why didn’t you […]

Five steps you can take right now to begin to heal from your traumatic birth

After a traumatic birth, it can be so hard.  You have to deal with the needs of your newborn, and with any older children needing you. You might be floundering under the emotional and physical fallout from the birth. You might be finding that it is incredibly hard to get anyone at all to understand […]

More reasons why breastfeeding can be so hard after a traumatic birth – and why it’s STILL not your fault. [Part Two]

I was completely devastated. I felt like I had failed to go into labour naturally and, while having resisted some interventions, did not achieve the peaceful, calm, un-injured birth I wanted, and had now failed to exclusively breastfeed my child. Rosemary I felt like such a bad mother – every other baby in the ward […]