Author Archives: Birthtalk.org

Rachael’s story: finally healing after traumatic birth, severe tearing, vaginal prolapse plus 3 failed repair surgeries.

“My body is still different after having three kids but it’s no longer “injured” or “broken”. It’s strong, functional and most of all comfortable!”  When we first met Rachael, she was resigning herself to living with constant pain from her first child’s traumatic arrival, after three failed surgeries to repair the damage, and dismissive attitudes […]

Do I need to avoid negative birth stories when I’m planning a positive birth?

Should we shut down negative or traumatic stories about birth? Or do we risk silencing women whose voice desperately needs to be heard? And are we missing an opportunity to clarify our own needs in preparation for a positive birth in the process?   Debby Gould and Melissa Bruijn are founders of Birthtalk.org, where, for […]

Why can’t I just accept my traumatic birth?

Many women ask themselves this. But what if you don’t need to accept it, to heal? Debby Gould and Melissa Bruijn are founders of Birthtalk.org, where, for 15 years, they have supported women in healing from a traumatic birth, and guided them towards empowering and positive subsequent births. They are also authors of new book, […]

The wrong questions to ask a woman after a traumatic birth.

Sometimes over the past 14 years of running Birthtalk.org we’ve heard well-intentioned people –  even some birth workers – ask the wrong questions to a woman who has just shared details about her traumatic birth. (And Melissa from Birthtalk.org had some of those questions asked of her, after her own traumatic birth.) Questions like : “Why didn’t you […]

Five steps you can take right now to begin to heal from your traumatic birth

After a traumatic birth, it can be so hard.  You have to deal with the needs of your newborn, and with any older children needing you. You might be floundering under the emotional and physical fallout from the birth. You might be finding that it is incredibly hard to get anyone at all to understand […]

More reasons why breastfeeding can be so hard after a traumatic birth – and why it’s STILL not your fault. [Part Two]

I was completely devastated. I felt like I had failed to go into labour naturally and, while having resisted some interventions, did not achieve the peaceful, calm, un-injured birth I wanted, and had now failed to exclusively breastfeed my child. Rosemary I felt like such a bad mother – every other baby in the ward […]

Why breastfeeding can be so hard after a traumatic birth – and why it’s not your fault. [part 1]

  By the authors of How to Heal a Bad Birth: making sense, making peace and moving on, a gentle guide towards healing after a less-than-great birth. I felt very frustrated when the midwife was acting like I wasn’t trying to feed my baby. Of course I wanted to feed her! Of course I wanted to […]